It Is Not Mental Health, It Is Hate.

Every time violence erupts, the conversation feels almost scripted. Headlines flash, voices rise, and once again the familiar line appears: “It’s not a gun issue, it’s a mental health issue.”

For years, I said the same thing. I repeated it without thinking, because it was what everyone else said. It was the easy answer, the safe explanation, the phrase that felt like truth because it was echoed everywhere.

But then something shifted.

So many people I know, including myself have lived with mental health struggles for as long as I can remember. Depression. Anxiety. Days when it felt impossible to climb out of bed. Nights when my thoughts ran in circles until I could barely breathe. Seasons where hope was so faint it was almost silent.

And yet, not once, not even for a fraction of a second, did I ever consider turning that pain outward. Not once did I imagine hurting innocent people. That is not what mental illness does.

That is when the realization hit me. Violence like that does not come from depression. It does not come from panic attacks or trauma. It does not come from grief or despair. Violence like that comes from hate. From rage. From anger that festers when it is fed again and again. From bitterness that grows until it hardens. From darkness that chooses destruction.

And it is a choice.

Hate is not something that appears overnight. It is something that is fed. It is repeated thoughts of resentment, jealousy, bitterness, and anger that are given room to grow. It is the decision to keep rehearsing grudges instead of forgiving. It is the decision to nurture division instead of seeking peace. Day by day, thought by thought, it is a choice.

In today’s society, hate and bitterness are everywhere. You can see it in online comment sections where people rip strangers apart. You can see it in families divided over politics. You can see it in communities where people would rather condemn than understand. Anger has become entertainment. Outrage has become fuel. It is easier to hate than to heal, so many choose it.

But that is exactly the point. It is a choice.

Millions of people live with mental health struggles every day. They go to work. They raise children. They fight invisible battles with courage that often goes unseen. And they do not become violent, because mental illness does not breed hatred. Hate is separate. Hate is learned, repeated, fed, and chosen.

When society defaults to “mental health” as the explanation for every act of violence, we are not just wrong, we are damaging. We make it harder for those who are hurting to reach out. We deepen the stigma around getting help. We allow the real issue, hate itself, to grow stronger in the shadows.

The truth is, pain does not always turn into violence. But hate does. Anger does. Choosing bitterness over healing does. Until we are willing to name the real issue, nothing will change.

Someone recently asked me if I was scared to talk about this. My answer is no. I am not afraid to speak the truth, because silence only feeds the problem. I am not afraid, because I know the difference between pain and hate, and I know how damaging it is to confuse the two. And I am not afraid, because conversations like this matter. People need to hear that struggling with mental health does not make them broken or dangerous. What makes someone dangerous is choosing hate. What makes someone dangerous is choosing to let anger win.

That is why I will keep saying it.

It is not mental health. It is hate. And it will always come down to choice.