Stay - Better Days Are Ahead.

I’ve been a little overwhelmed by how many people reached out after my recent post about intrusive thoughts. I thought maybe I’d get a comment or two, but instead I was flooded with support and understanding. It has opened my eyes to just how many people are quietly struggling with the same thoughts and feelings. People I never would have imagined. Or even strangers thanking me for voicing what they can’t say. If that’s you, stay. There’s so much life left to live. There are ways to turn the burning down into a simmer. 

I’m honored so many of you have trusted to confide in me, now trust me with the following information. I’d like to add, I’m not a professional by any means, this is all just from lived experience.  

What I’ve learned, both from living it and from hearing from so many of you; is this: suicidal thoughts aren’t always about wanting to end your life. Sometimes they’re about wanting to end the pain. That distinction matters. It’s not weakness. It’s not failure. It’s what happens when your body and mind have carried too much for too long. It’s not being able to explain why it all hurts so much without any clear cause, but you’re wrong, and likely your traditional doctor is wrong too. There IS cause. 

One thing that really shifted things for me was reading The Body Keeps the Score. It opened my eyes to how much of my pain wasn’t just physical, but deeply tied to my mental and emotional state. Trauma lives in the body, and understanding that helped me begin the process of healing in a new way.

I also believe in a holistic approach to healing. These won’t look the same for everyone, but some of the tools that have helped me feel like I was finally taking back control of my body include: working with a holistic health doctors or coaches, chiropractic care, massage therapy, cupping, MYK, float tanks, acupressure, cold plunges, saunas, and simple practices like getting outside that allow space for my body to reset. None of them are “quick fixes,” but each one has been a crucial piece of the puzzle that helped me find relief and begin to rebuild. Slowly and surely, I found myself again. 

And this is just the beginning of the conversation. In my next few blog posts, I’ll share more of the specific practices and mindsets that helped me move from barely surviving to actually healing. My hope is that by opening up about what’s worked for me, it might spark something that helps you too.

If you’re hurting, please know you’re not alone in this. If you’re in immediate crisis, call or text 988 (U.S.) or reach out to a local crisis line where you live. Your story matters, your pain is real, and there are people who will listen.

Thank you to everyone who was brave enough to share their stories with me. I’m listening but I’m taking time to rest and can’t respond individually right now. Please know it’s because I’m trying to take care of myself while showing up for others. I see you. I hear you.

Stay. Better days are coming. And I’ll be here to keep sharing what’s helped me find mine.

— M 🤍